


Last Leaf-bare

by furk



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, LGBTQ Cats (Warriors), M/M, What Have I Done, hehe gay cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furk/pseuds/furk
Summary: Graystripe decides to leave to Riverclan after the death of Silverstream, but Fireheart can't bear to lose him again.
Relationships: Firestar/Graystripe (Warriors), Graystripe/Silverstream (Warriors)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Last Leaf-bare

**Author's Note:**

> hi people!  
> I've noticed the severe lack of this awesome ship on this site and in the fandom in general (there's not a lot of fanfictions, I mean. There's quite a bit of art, I guess), so I have to decide to betray my values, my friends' trust, and my promises and write one myself.  
> I've never written fanfiction before, and god does it feel strange. Is there some set of morals you need to betray in order to do this? I don't know. I've been wanted to do this forever, but never found the courage to actually do it until I was yelled out by 10 people to stop talking about it and just do it. 
> 
> uh yeah. Criticism is needed please I literally didn't know how to start this. For as much criticism as I'm able to give it sure is hard to apply it to your own work without help from others.  
> hngnngnng ack

"You're leaving?!" Fireheart echoed, his distress evident in his voice.

"I'm sorry Fireheart, but you have to understand," Graystripe told him. It hadn't been too long since Silverstream's death, and it was obvious Graystripe was still upset about it. "This wasn't an easy decision to make."

"But... but what about Thunderclan? What about me?" Fireheart replied, starting to lose his composure. This couldn't be happening. He had just got Graystripe back. That season of being apart from him was the worse he'd had. Now here they were, Graystripe pulling him aside to tell him he was leaving for Riverclan with his kits. Just after they had patched things up.

"I know, I know, but... it's just not enough. Thunderclan probably hates me because of what I did with Silverstream. They'll never trust me again! You have to understand my position here, Fireheart. I don't want my kits growing up in a clan that will resent them. Next time the Riverclan patrol comes, I'll tell them my decision. I... I didn't want it to be this way. I wish I could stay, and..." Graystripe struggled to find the right words. His heart ached with grief and he was trying his best to stay rational. "I know what you're thinking. The last leaf-bare was hard for you, and although it may not seem like it to you, I think you'll be fine without me."

Last leaf-bare, the mere mention of the season brought back painful memories. It was the lowest point of Fireheart's life.  
It had started pretty great, he and Graystripe were newly made warriors and had just gotten their new apprentices after rescuing Windclan. It was an amazing feeling, finally being warriors, already having apprentices, but most importantly, being with Graystripe. He loved Graystripe, and the time spent with him was Fireheart's most treasured. Of course, Graystripe didn't know that, but he didn't need to know, for now, at least. It was great, and Fireheart was happy... but that was before Graystripe met Silverstream.

He hated seeing them together. He wanted Graystripe to himself, as selfish as it was... but seeing him breaking the warrior code just to be with a molly from another clan made Fireheart feel as if he wasn't good enough. He wanted to be good enough oh so badly, but he was too scared of rejection to try. So, he decided to wait, hoping that Graystripe would eventually get over it.

He started seeing Graystripe less and less. He started training Brackenpaw as well as Cinderpaw due to how much Graystripe was absent. It wasn't like it was that bad, though. He'd do anything for Graystripe, and besides, Brackenpaw wasn't bad. He was making a real friend out of Cinderpaw, so he didn't feel as lonely as he thought he would.

Seeing Cinderpaw's battered body lying still in the middle of the Thunderpath was a huge blow to Fireheart. Not only had Cinderpaw been hit by a monster because he was too lenient, but he had also failed as a mentor. He had failed as a friend. His first apprentice had been crippled for the rest of her life, and it was all his fault. No matter how much both Yellowfang and Cinderpaw assured him that he was not to blame, he could never forgive himself for allowing it to happen. He'd failed the clan, and he had failed himself. He knew Tigerclaw was the real one to blame, but he couldn't help the guilt churning in his stomach every time he looked at Cinderpaw's broken leg. And, of course, Graystipe was too busy with Silverstream to even offer him an ounce of comfort. All Fireheart wanted was his warm embrace... to tell him everything would be alright. He just wanted Graystripe. 

When Graystripe had called Fireheart behind the nursery after the battle with Riverclan, he couldn't help but feel relieved. He was already tired from the lack of sleep he was getting due to his consistent nightmares, so he wasn't thinking much about why Graystripe had called him back there. Perhaps he'd finally realized his mistakes? Or maybe he wanted to thank Fireheart for not making him choose aside. 

The fight that followed kept Fireheart up for multiple sunrises, refusing to sleep to avoid nightmares. The fur under his eyes was beginning to become stiff from his constant crying. He hated this. He just wanted to be friends again. He didn't care about Silverstream, he didn't care about their forbidden affair. He just wanted Graystripe back. And with the clan practically disowning him after he had brought Cloudkit in, he had never felt more alone than he did then, cold, desperate, and dejected.

"Fireheart...?" Graystripe's mew brought Fireheart out of his thoughts. He slowly lifted his head to face him. "Fireheart, you're crying..." Graystripe slowly lifted his paw to Fireheart's face, which Fireheart responded to by turning his head and shifting his gaze.

"I'm sorry..." he croaked. Graystripe shifted a bit closer and put his tail on Fireheart's. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Graystripe meowed softly. Fireheart could barely contain himself from breaking down. He was going to lose the one he loved again. He was going to be all alone again. "Fireheart, breathe. You're getting worked up," Graystripe's mew broke through Fireheart's thoughts again.

"Graystripe, I can't lose you again... please, rethink this! I'll defend you from the whole clan if I have to! I can help take care of your kits, I... I'll do anything! Please, just stay!" Fireheart cried. Graystripe shifted on his paws, sadness filling his eyes. 

"You know I can't-"

"Yes, you can! I don't get it, why do you have to leave! Bluestar already said she would let the kits live in Thunderclan! You don't have to leave, Graystripe, please! Just stay here with your clan... with me!" Fireheart cut him off. 

Graystripe's patience was wearing thin. "Fireheart, I already explained this to you earlier! Come on, you're making this more difficult than it needs to be. Don't you understand where I'm coming from?" 

"No! I don't understand at all! You brushed off everyone in the clan just so you could break the code and be with Silverstream. You ignored your duties as a mentor, you left me to train Brackenpaw time and time again, and you constantly got me in trouble because I was just trying to be a good friend and make sure you didn't get punished for what you were doing, and now you're just going to upright leave me?! I just wanted to be good enough for you..." Fireheart trailed off, not knowing what else to say. The realization of what he said hit him, and he felt the heat rise to his face. He quickly looked at his paws, trying to hide his embarrassment from Graystripe.

"...Do you not think you're good enough for me?" Graystripe asked. He sounded confused and a little hurt.

"I'm..." Fireheart took in a shuddery breath, "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean it." Fireheart grew antsy as the silence was drawn out between them, before he decided to break it, "I just want you to be happy, Graystripe, and I know you won't be happy in Riverclan."

Graystripe ignored his statement, "Do you seriously think you're not good enough for me? You're my best friend, for Starclan's sake." Fireheart internally flinched at his reassurance. He wanted to be more than just his best friend. He wanted Graystripe to love Fireheart in the same way that Fireheart loved him. 

"Come on, Fireheart, I care about you more than anyone in the world. Nothings going the change that." But maybe, Fireheart thought, maybe there was a chance, a slim, minuscule chance that he'd feel the same way. That Graystripe loved him back. This was his one shot. His final chance to convince Graystripe to stay. His final chance to tell Graystripe he loved him. His final chance to be truly happy. 

"Graystripe," he began, "I've been meaning to tell you something." Anxiety started to prickle in Fireheart's chest. This confession could either fix everything or destroy everything he's done.

"What is it?" Graystripe replied. His voice sounded hopeful, which encouraged Fireheart to continue.

"Ever since we first met in the forest, four seasons ago, I've always felt this... emotion? I don't know, I guess it was this... warmth when I was around you, and I still do. You are always so happy and funny and bubbly, you're fun, kind, and a bit annoying sometimes, but you always make me laugh, and being around you just makes me feel so wonderful. I've never felt like that before around anyone else. And seeing you with Silverstream just killed me. I was jealous and angry, and I just... I guess what I'm trying to say is..." Fireheart started to falter, his apprehensiveness getting the better of him. "This is stupid..." he mumbled. 

"Come on, spit it out already!" Graystripe chuckled, a huge grin plastered on his face. 

"You promise you won't hate me?" Fireheart said, close to a whisper, still looking at his paws.

"I promise." Graystripe meowed in reply. Fireheart took a shaky breath, readying himself for his confession.

"I... I love you, Graystripe. I love you more than anything in the world. And I've just been so scared, I didn't want you to hate me again. I didn't want to lose you again. But now you're leaving, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway...!" Fireheart squeaked a bit when Graystripe wrapped his paws around his back and placed his chin on Fireheart's small head.

"I've been waiting for you to say that for so, so long, Fireheart," Graystripe meowed airily.

"But... what about Silverstream?" Fireheart inquired. "I thought you loved her!"

"Of course I loved her," Graystripe said. "But I also loved you, ever since I laid eyes on you. Ironically, I didn't think you felt the same way. I didn't think I'd ever been able to tell you. Well, I guess I didn't tell you after all!" He chuckled. Fireheart felt as if he could cry. It finally happened. He leaned in and buried his face in Graystripe's chest.

"I... I'm so happy. This is a dream come true," Fireheart whispered, finally letting the tears that had formed in his eyes fall. "Oh Starclan, I love you so much, Graystripe."

"I love you too, Firheart. And... I'm sorry for trying to leave. I was just so depressed and upset that I was willing to do anything just to get away for a while. So, I-"

"What are you two mouse-brains doing?" Fireheart jumped with a yelp as Sandstorm interrupted.

"Uh... talking?" Graystripe replied with a sheepish smile. Sandstorm gave him a deadpanned look.

"Yeah, I can see that. You guys can continue it later, Bluestar just called a clan meeting," she said as she walked out. 

When she was gone, Fireheart looked back at Graystripe, hope glimmering in his eyes. "So, you'll stay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Graystripe meowed, "I'll stay."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't like this that much, but I think I did pretty well for it being my first time all things considered. This is part of an AU I made cause I felt like it where there are slight personality changes and whatnot (Fireheart's a lot more self-conscious and sensitive. He needs more flaws, honestly.) Obviously Graystripe doesn't leave yada yada. I'm pretty sure Bluestar said they were going to keep the kits in the actual book, and it was Graystripe who decided to leave. So like, this isn't too far out there. Freak you Graystripe >:( 
> 
> its raining outside. i like rain.
> 
> what the darn why won't it let me indent


End file.
